


Ninjipple 0.2; Birth by Sleep – A Fragmentary Teat

by SociallyUnacceptableOrb



Series: Kirbyposting [5]
Category: Hoshi no Kaabii | Kirby: Right Back at Ya!
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Jealousy, Nipples
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-27
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-11-06 12:29:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17939735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SociallyUnacceptableOrb/pseuds/SociallyUnacceptableOrb
Summary: Garlude always knew there was something separating her from the rest of the Star Warriors, but she never thought that it would get her worked up this much.





	Ninjipple 0.2; Birth by Sleep – A Fragmentary Teat

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Ninjipple 2; The Areola's Revenge](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17937155) by [ChingKittyCat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChingKittyCat/pseuds/ChingKittyCat). 



> I am 22 years old and have the same sense of humor as a 17-year-old boy with a Fortnite YouTube channel. And yes. This is canon now.

It was known far and wide across the land that Sir Garlude had no tits.

And this didn’t bother her in the slightest. She had no desire for cleavage, and even if she did, it’s not like Nightmare would’ve given any to her to begin with in the first place. He created monsters that scared people, and what point would there be to pop a pair of breasts onto a snarling killing machine? The Otakings had insisted that a monster with large enough assets could potentially smother them to death, but that was a bridge too far even for the Nightmare Wizard himself.

Garlude retained her neutrality on chest protrusions at an almost naïve level; she vividly remembered Jack desperately claiming that her asking about the “malformed tumors” on Guinevere’s chest was actually a mistranslation of a compliment. The warrior was flat as a board in more ways than one, and this mindset remained that way until one day, she happened upon one of her injured friends in the medical bay.

Yamikage laid in bed, his face and lower body covered in bandages, and his left leg wrapped in a cast and elevated. His chest remained uncovered from the attack, which apparently had targeted everywhere but his upper pectorals. This was already strange enough on its own (since Garlude clearly could see that the clothes from his upper half seemed to have been conveniently shredded in such as fashion), but when Garlude stepped closer to the bed, she noticed something else was permanently affixed to his chest.

_Nipples._

Well, as accurate as cartoon nipples could get. There wasn’t any visible protrusion from the flesh, nor did the areola bottleneck up into one resembling a proper nipple. It was a family-friendly nipple; in other words, a circular bruise mark. The only thing separating it from the blush marks that she could find on any puffball was the fact that it remained similar in coloration to the rest of his skin tone, and the six-pack abs he sported that were otherwise unnoticeable beneath his clothes.

At least Garlude knew where his head ended and body began, now. But she still remained lured in by the nipple, almost enamored with the sheer prospect of what one could feel like. For after all, why would Nightmare, who was already anti-mammary, not be anti-demon presenting nipple as well? The brown dot on Yamikage’s upper body was tantalizing enough, and Garlude reached out a hand to poke the tiny chest button.

“I’d prefer if you didn’t do that,” Yamikage’s hand shot up and intercepted hers, inches before she could boop the nipple. “I’m already suffering enough. I don’t need whatever clownery you’ve got lined up to make me feel worse.”

“No, no! Nothing like that! I just wanted to know what it felt like!” Garlude said, trying to save face. All this did was earn her a very confused look from the Nyctum ninja.

“You… specifically wanted to know what my nipples felt like?” He cocked an eyebrow. “I’m fairly certain they feel like any other nipple.”

“Really?”

Yamikage stared at the purple warrior with a bemused half-smile until he slowly realized Garlude was dead serious. “Aren’t you a mammal? I feel like you should know this already.”

“Yeah, least time I checked, we’re all mammals here.” Jack said from the doorway, wheeling in a tray of pills for the recuperating shinobi. “I mean, except for the talking birds, and whatever these puffballs are. Y’know, I’m not really sure if any of those bird guys even are birds. They could be dinosaurs, for all I know.”

“Huh,” Garlude thought about his words for a second, and the proceeded to follow-up with what may have been the absolute worst choice of words imaginable as she pointed at the ninja. “Are our nipples always as big as his, or?”

“You keep my moderately larger than average sized nipples out of this, Garlude!” Yamikage shrieked, folding a hand over his chest, as Jack proceeded to lose his shit. “You haven’t even got any!”

“Alright, what’s going on in here?!” Kit Cosmos’ voice boomed through the medical bay as he kicked down the door. He took a swig of coffee straight from the pot in his hand and proceeded to march towards them with the fury that only a coconut-flavored Drill Sargent could have. “You buffoons should only be here if you’re in traction, or you’re gonna be in traction!”

“Kit, I’m the head nurse here,” Jack dryly said. “You literally appointed me yourself.”

Garlude’s eyes lit up. Perfect! Another mammal! And Kit was certainly as mammalian as they came, just look at all of that hair. Garlude confidently strode up to him as a took another swig of coffee, “Do you know of anybody else with nipples here?”

And then, Kit Cosmos did a spit-take.


End file.
